Dumb Charlie: Why do I keep making stupid decisions?

I’m questioning my judgment. I used to think I had good judgment. But now I am not so sure.

Bad Judgment #1 - Financial 

When this pandemic hit, all I could think about was the economic impact. The economy was shedding jobs like crazy. The talk was we were heading for a depression. The government printed then pushed $3T into the economy as an emergency relief package. The market dropped by one third, then surprisingly jumped back to within 15% of its February high. It was clearly overpriced.

In the midst of all this, I started the Paparelli Zoom Chat for Entrepreneurs. I did this because the entrepreneurs I knew and respected were confused. The uncertainty made it difficult to know just what to do. They had to make decisions on their businesses, but they wanted to make the right decisions. So I brought everybody together to talk about the decisions they were making.

Early in one of those Zoom Chats, while I was harping on the macroeconomic impact, a friend stepped in and added clarity. Nelson Chu, partner with Kinetic Ventures, said, “This is a selective, sector-driven economic downturn. Not everyone will get hurt. Many, in fact, will prosper.”

I heard this but kept thinking in macro terms. In other words, I ignored Nelson.

Because of this, I decided there was not a lot of upside in the market. The risk was all downside. Given my age and adjusted risk tolerance, I thought it prudent to pare back my exposure in stocks as part of my balanced portfolio approach. And that is what I did.

In the meantime, I’m buying and using more tech products than I ever did before. I’m talking about the dramatic switch to online learning, telemedicine, digital security exposure, and the impact of work from home. And I’m doing all this talking over Zoom calls. I even said on one of the calls, “Anything digital is going to thrive in this economy.”

Did I stay in tech? Hell no! I left tech as part of my macro-paring of my stock positions.

All I had to do was listen to Nelson. And also listen to what I was telling people on the Zoom Chats. 

Because of this financial decision, I missed the dramatic uplift in the market. Particularly in tech stocks. And this is my business, tech!

Bad Judgment #2 - Relational

I stopped talking to my sister a couple of months ago. She said something to me which sent me off the deep end. It wasn’t even that bad. As I was explaining what happened to a friend recently, I sounded trite and self-centered. Maybe even insecure.

To save me in the midst of my drowning in my own explanation, I said, “It must be a trigger from my childhood that I never dealt with.” The old childhood psycho excuse. I never play this card. Then again, never say never.

Bad Judgment #3 - Physical

I am taking really good care of myself as part of my work from home routine. I am consuming healthier foods. We are eating at home, which always helps. And I am exercising every day. Because of all this, I lost weight and a few belt sizes. All good. No bad judgment here.

But I also continue to ride my motorcycle.

I wrote an article recently entitled “Don’t Die.” This was advice Kathy gave to me while I was on a motorcycle trip with friends. Within an hour of receiving this advice, I did an illegal pass of a truck that almost ended in death. 

I figured this was a one-off bad decision under competitive circumstances. Not true.

A few weeks later, while riding alone, I did another stupid pass. And this time it ended in an even closer call. In fact, it was so close, it kept me from sleeping that night as I kept replaying what could have happened.

It was this last bad judgment that brought the financial and relational bad judgments into focus. 

I was dealing with a series of bad judgments. I was losing it. “What other areas of bad judgment am I dealing with?” I wondered.

“You can solve this bad judgment run real quick. Start making good decisions,” I said to myself.

So now I’m thinking about the decisions I make every day. No more automatic, ready, fire, aim decisions here. No way. I’m being more thoughtful, more patient, and more focused on the consequences of my decisions.

But even this wasn’t enough. Here’s what did it for me.

In prayer recently, I asked God to give me patience and wisdom. This is what settled me down and gave me my confidence back. The verse that came to mind while I was praying was from the book of James, chapter 1.

It reads…

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do.”

I asked. I believe. Good judgment will follow. God promised.