Gay mom and good friend asks for help finding a Christian school

The email said, "I have a Christian question."

I never get this kind of request. I'm sure pastors do, but me?

The email came from a friend who is looking for a Christian school for her middle school-aged children. You might think this would be easy. Go to Google and enter “Christian schools near me.” Get the list. Visit the websites. Set up appointments. Talk to friends and parents who attend. Choose a school.

Not so fast

This friend of mine is a woman who is gay and has a life-long partner. She is not a member of a church, but she wants her children to be taught religious morality as part of their education. She believes religious schools do this better than secular schools.

When we finally connected, she said, "The world has become a crazy place. You either have to be far left or far right. And I am neither."

"Tell me more," I said.

"I want my kids to know God and Jesus. I don't want them to come home from school thinking their moms are going to one day burn in hell because they are gay. I also don't want them taught all this gender nonsense. Nor am I interested in them being taught critical race theory. What am I to do?" she asked.

Our discussion focused on the schools she’d already considered. One had a "trans cheerleader" on their promotional material. This was an easy school for her to take off the list. It didn't match her beliefs. Then there were the covenant Christian schools that believe the Bible is the unerring word of God. There were two problems with these schools. One, they would not accept her as a parent because she is living an active homosexual lifestyle which they consider a sin. Two, if they did find a conservative Christian school that let their kids in, they would be taught their moms are actively sinning. She concluded her children would judge her and her life choice. These schools wouldn't work.

I asked, "What about the denominations that have split in the last few years over the homosexuality issues of leadership and marriage?"

"This is where I encountered the problem," she said. "One of the denominational schools I looked at not only embraced all lifestyles but also gender identity. But they don't stop at tolerance. They also encourage the kids to explore these lifestyles for themselves. I don't want this for my kids."

Then out of her frustration came real wisdom. "I want a school that teaches tolerance of these lifestyles, including ours, but does not promote them. Yes. That's it. Tolerance not promotion."

Here is the issue.

She wanted her kids to have a Christian education that tolerates homosexual relationships. But it needed to end there. As the plain talker I've always known her to be, she said, "Can we just find a school that accepts us being gay and stop there? Do my kids need to be taught all the other liberal crap?"

The problem

Christian conservative education stands by the literal reading of the Bible. Homosexuality is a sin. They believe what it says in Genesis 1:27-28:

"So God created mankind in his own image,

in the image of God he created them;

male and female he created them.

God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.’”

Then there are the Christian liberals that believe the Bible is a living and breathing book of guidance. The Ten Commandments and the practice of love must be followed, but as society changes, so does the interpretation of the Bible. What is sin is determined by societal morals.

So my friend is a homosexual looking for Christian conservative education for her kids. And the result is she is frustrated.

I asked how old her kids are. She said they are almost thirteen.

"Do your kids know you and your partner are gay?"

"Of course they do," she replied.

"Then what are they going to hear about gay lifestyles in any school that they haven't already heard? As they move into their teenage years, isn't their moms' choice of lifestyle something they will have to decide upon for themselves? I'm sure they are already dealing with this issue."

She agreed.

"And as far as the other social issues being taught in these schools, isn't it up to you and your partner to continue to share your values with your children? It seems to me you and your partner are like every other parent in today's society. Their kids are thinking they are way too out of touch with the 'real world.'"

I walked away from this conversation thinking, "How hard is it to find a school for kids where they will learn God's word moderated by parent's choices?"