I heard a friend describe his grandchildren as average. It upset me, and I told him in no uncertain terms.
His grandchildren have well-educated and productive parents. First and foremost, these kids have parents who are married, love each other, respect each other, and love their children. The children are being raised in a safe home with a wonderful education. They travel regularly in the US and abroad. They participate in organized sports. They have unique personalities and interests. Their pursuit of these interests leads to startling creative acts.
Yet with all this, my friend, their grandfather, called them average.
He labeled his grandchildren average. This made me ask: How does he label himself? Does he consider himself average too?
Why do we label people? Why do we label ourselves? How does our self-labeling affect how we label others?
Here are my thoughts from my journal this morning.
Be careful—be aware of how you label yourself. I am quick to label others. But in many cases, I don’t realize that I labeled myself first.
Labeling others gives me a sense of control. I know what to expect. Their behaviors become predictable, and that is comforting. I live in a no-surprises relationship with them. I put them in a box and store them on the “safe relationships” shelf.
When I label myself, I make myself safe. I set boundaries on what I might achieve. My expectations of me: to love, to be loved, to learn, to achieve, to lead, to advance, to succeed.
But God created me. Is God’s design for me, his creation, lying fallow behind the door of my self-label?
I do to me what I do to others. I make myself safe from myself.
This labeling is horrible to do to others and disastrous to do to myself. Self-labeling is catastrophic to my personal growth. It is catastrophic to other people’s growth while in a relationship with me.
Labeling is a relational form of control.
It makes the world seemingly safe to navigate. The goal is no surprises, good or bad. My relationships live in an emotionally bland limbo. An environment with little joy, hope, or passionate love. A safe relationship. Seemingly safe for me but destructive to others.
This labeling leads to relationships without passion or expectation. Relationships with no surprises. Lifeless relationships. What am I doing?
This marks the end of my journal entry. Then…
This led me back to my creator, God. Does God label me?
God’s Word identifies humanity with these labels across both the Old and New Testaments:
Created in His Image: Humanity is fashioned in the image and likeness of God, sharing attributes designed to reflect Him.
Children of God: Believers are recognized and adopted as God's sons and daughters.
Stewards and Workers: Humans are entrusted with responsibility for the earth, given work and a mission to subdue and care for creation.
Priests, Prophets, and Kings: Roles describing humanity’s spiritual standing and authority within God’s kingdom framework.
Husbands, Wives, Fathers, Mothers, and Friends: Relational roles defining human interaction within families, marriages, and communities.
Servants and Slaves (Bond-servants): Describing our posture of obedience, service, and devotion to God rather than to sin.
Disciples, Teachers, Encouragers, and Witnesses: Followers called to learn, share, teach, and testify to the faith.
Sinners and Redeemed: Acknowledging humanity’s fallen disobedience while highlighting those who are made right and saved through faith in Christ.
These are God’s labels for you and me. They appear to me to be labels without limit. After all, we are created in God’s image. Why would there be limits? Unless…
How do you label yourself? And does this label drive how you label others, including your own children and grandchildren? Are you trying to make your relationships safe for you?
I need to ask God for wisdom.