Hitting bottom was the best thing that ever happened to me

“I came to Christ because of you,” I told my youngest son.

“Me?” he asked innocently.

My youngest son is thirty-two this year. Thirty-three years ago, on a Saturday morning, Kathy came out of our bathroom and sat next to me as I was waking up. When I turned to look at her, I saw she was in tears.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her.

“I’m pregnant.”

I started crying too. We cried together.

I was thirty-nine years old and out of work for the first time in my life. Before leaving my last gig as the COO of the US operations for a UK public company, my work life was always up, up, up—a partner in a successful software company, which we sold when I was twenty-eight. I got a chunk of money and the beginning of an exciting corporate career running businesses.

And then it was all gone one day. One breakfast meeting with my boss. I walked out of that meeting unemployed. Clueless. Without a job title to hide behind. No prospects. No network in Atlanta. No purpose. I went from master of the universe to being knocked to the ground after hearing the words, “Maybe you should move on?” To what I thought.

This, on top of hating the roady executive life. Nothing good happens on the road. It is filled with lonely people trying to build relationships, only to fail again and again. Our relationships, our real relationships, are at home. I nursed this wound of loneliness with first-class travel and five-star hotels.

Mind you, I was only in those hotel rooms for six hours a night. Then off to breakfast, a meeting, and a flight to another city. I was building a business, setting goals I didn’t care about, making great money, and building my career so I could do it again for another boss yet to be discovered.

But I stayed the course with the help of alcohol. It shut off the anxiousness generated from the questions I was asking myself. I didn’t want to pursue these answers. I wanted to love what I was doing. The truth was, I didn’t. So I drank at night to quench the guilt and pursued activities to make me forget who I was afraid to be.

My life at home was with a wife, two little girls, and a four-year-old son. We had a beautiful home, two Mercedes in the garage, and three private school tuitions. I’d wake up in the morning when unemployed and feel like my kids looked at me like I shouldn’t be there.

“Don’t you work? Shouldn’t you be traveling? Why are you here?” These were the questions I saw on their faces. Their life at home was no longer my life. What happened? And now we were having a baby.

The prospect of a new baby hit me hard. It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back. I had no plan and no opportunities to pursue. I had nowhere to go. I started the search process thinking I was the most employable CEO/COO in Atlanta tech. Within a few months, after zero interest and then a couple of false starts, I lost my confidence, all of it.

I hit bottom.

But the family was growing.

Then three things happened in succession.

1. I joined AA - no more addiction!

2. I came to know Jesus as my Savior and Lord - I was no longer in charge of my life!

3. I fell in love with the Word of God, the Bible - I had the playbook for right living!

I was born again, filled with the spirit, and following Jesus.

Within six months, through the craziest set of circumstances, I started a new business and a new career. I became a full-time angel investor and the creator of the first-of-its-kind IT services incubator. And it worked. It all worked really well.

Over the next few years, the old cowboy song played backward for me. I got my dog back, my truck back, my wife back, my kids back, and meaningful work back. Yes. Jesus brought all back and then some.

Thirty-two years after my son’s birth, here is what happened.

Kathy and I will celebrate our forty-eighth anniversary in May.

My daughters are married to two fine men. They have six of our grandchildren between them.

My then-four-year-old son is now married and has started a worldwide business out of London, England. He has a beautiful little girl, who is our first Paparelli grandchild.

And that surprise baby, the one who was the straw that broke the camel’s back. He is a successful SaaS sales representative and is building a great career. He is still looking for that one special woman so he can start a family. We are praying for her.

It is amazing how God works. I had to hit bottom to be open to asking for his help. And you know what? He was right there, waiting to be asked.

I came to realize a truth in life. It came to me by helping others who hit bottom. And the truth is this. There is always hope, always. And here is why: Jesus hangs out at the end of our rope. He is always there to catch us. All we have to do is ask.