Is Your Coasting Leading to Emptiness?
Is Your Coasting Leading to Emptiness?
He was flying upside down in a fighter jet while leading a trainee in a challenging maneuver. He looked up, which was toward the ground, and saw an accident on the expressway. All his thoughts went to how long it was going to take him to get home because of the traffic jam. All this while flying upside down at 500 mph.
After landing, he reflected on this thought process and how it captured him. He was thinking of getting home in traffic during what used to be a high-risk aerial maneuver. It made him realize he was coasting. And coasting leads to emptiness. Shortly after this experience, he resigned from the Air Force. He was only five years from retirement.
So why did he do it?
For two reasons:
He was coasting. He was no longer conquering fear in his life. He was accomplished and executing without fear. He had the skills, experience, and reputation. He could coast.
He didn't know if and when his cancer would return and take his life.
The question became, “Did he want to die trying to achieve his retirement, or was there something bigger?”
He went on to a career as an international management and leadership consultant. Within two years he was president of Afterburner. Within a short time, he became CEO.
He stopped coasting and faced the fear of a new career. He applied for elite MBA programs, read over 150 business books in one year in preparation, learned this new business language and skills, and aimed to excel. He did it.
Since that time, he has competed in the Iron Man Triathlon and was an American Ninja Warrior.
He told me each day he wakes up and asks the question, "What fear do I have that needs to be conquered?"
And what about me?
Am I coasting?
This came from an interview with Joel Neeb. Joel is a graduate of the Air Force Academy. A former fighter pilot. Cancer survivor. CEO of a management consulting firm serving the Fortune 50 internationally. Husband to Marsha. Father of two boys. Follower of Jesus Christ. All this and he is forty-four years old. It is a great story.
I must confess, I thought the interview was going to be filled with fighter pilot platitudes. But this wasn't the case at all. Joel shared from the heart. The interview impacted me. All the interviews do this, but this one changed my thinking. And we all know, "As a man thinks, so is he."
I realized I am in a constant battle between coasting and the fear of starting something. And it is in the facing of my fears that I’ve found growth and fulfillment in my life, not in the coasting.
Here are examples of some of the fears I’ve faced in my life.
The fear of going to college
The fear of beginning a new career
The fear of marriage
The fear of starting a new business
The fear of having children
The fear of leading a company
The fear of public speaking
The fear of not drinking one day at a time, living a life sober
The fear of motorcycling
The fear of losing my identity after my release as COO of a public company
The fear of a new occupation—angel investor
The fear of losing our nest egg
The fear of no paycheck
The fear of giving my life and control to Jesus Christ
The fear of starting a community organization
The fear of starting a weekly blog
The fear of writing
The fear of interviewing accomplished executives in the profit and nonprofit worlds
You get the point.
Life is exciting and fulfilling when I face my fears.
Early in my life, I was forced to face them. My parent's chose the high school that I attended in New York. I was expected to go to college, so I went. I needed to get that first professional job to begin my career.
But then, I left that job against all my friends' advice. I joined a software startup. And this was when people thought software was underwear. The choices to face my fears became more mine. And every one of these “face my fear” choices resulted in a breakthrough for me. Thrilling. Scary. Taking all I had to succeed. Feeling like I was living on the knife's edge.
My career was screaming right along until one day it wasn't. I hit the wall. I was no longer a corporate executive with all the power and privilege that goes with it. I realized I had a drinking problem. I knew I was a sinner. I made the choice to face my greatest fear. Repenting of my sins and surrendering my life to Jesus Christ. I just could not carry it all on my own anymore. I gave it all to God.
And God gave me the courage to face my next greatest fear. Starting my own business at forty. I changed careers from an operator to an investor. I focused my life's work on helping entrepreneurs start and build their own businesses. I risked all of my income and my family's capital in pursuit of this new occupation. I was all in. Burned the ships. It had to work. It was a "you and me God" decision.
Looking back, I realized I went from having to face the fears of life early in life to choosing to face my fears later in life. And as I age, having achieved a level of success, I can stop choosing to face my fears. I can coast.
In fact, at my age, I am encouraged by society to coast. The term is retired. And this is the greatest fear I face. It is the greatest fear because it means the battle between comfort and fear is over. Comfort wins.
I cannot, I will not choose to retire. I will not let comfort win.
Although I yearn for comfort, I’ve learned fulfillment is in the facing of my fears. Starting the things that can fail. It can be as simple as beginning to write a new article. Maybe starting a new relationship. Inviting someone of great accomplishment to be my next interview. It might even be facing an upcoming health challenge.
So I ask myself the question again today, "Am I coasting?"
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." 2 Tim 1:7
Thanks, Joel, for this lesson.
You can hear my conversation with Joel Neeb on The Paparelli Show or the Paparelli Podcast.
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