Love Begins With Listening 

“I wanted my son to come home safe. That’s all I wanted. If there was ever an encounter with the police, I wanted him to think, ‘I need to do whatever I must do to get home safe,’” said Michelle, a friend, a mother, and an African-American.

Michelle told me this story when I called to see how she was doing in the midst of the protests here in Atlanta and across the country. And the stories kept coming. Personal experiences that shaped her identity and view of the world.

While listening to Michelle, I could feel us growing closer as friends. She shared her story with someone who cared. I was listening to learn. 

Encouraged, I called other black friends.

When I got my friends on the phone, I said, “I just wanted to know how you and your family are doing in the midst of this awful event.”

They told me what it was like for them to watch George Floyd die under the knee of a police officer. All eight minutes and forty-six seconds of it.

Then I would ask, “What was it like for you growing up?”

The stories would come. Stories about fear, shame, and discrimination. Some blatant, some awful, and some seemingly “socially acceptable” but still offensive. In all cases, I learned their life experiences growing up and raising children were different from mine. They saw things I didn’t see. But they did. These events happened to them.

In the midst of all the protests, talking heads on the news, unthinkable violence, and crazy solutions, there is friendship.

And you know what friends do? 

Listen.

Love begins with listening.