The Secret I’ve Discovered to Making Goals a Reality

I just came in from sitting on my balcony and sat down for dinner. 

My good friend asked, “What were you doing out there?”

“I was kind of inspired to begin writing down my goals. I didn’t go out there to do that. I really went out there to think about what I would stop doing next year. To actually do less. A lot less, maybe nothing. But the goals just came to me, and I started writing them down,” I said.

“So what are your goals?” he asked.

“No. No. You go first. What goals do you have for 2021?” I asked.

“I don’t do goals,” he said.

“We all have goals. We are just afraid to say them out loud,” I said. I knew this was true because I’d just experienced it when he asked me to tell my goals. 

“Let’s think about this differently. Instead of thinking of goals, tell me about your desires,” I said.

He said, “I would like to end 2021 grateful for how well it went.”

“I like that as a goal. It doesn’t check all the SMART goal boxes. But it does something more important. It gives you criteria to make better decisions,” I explained.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“By having a long-term measurement like gratitude, you’ll apply long-term criteria to the decision at hand. You will ask yourself, ‘If I do this or don’t do this, will I be grateful looking back at the end of the year?’ In lieu of these criteria, we make decisions based on immediate gratification.”

We talked about this for a while. Then the conversation moved on to goals. The kind that are specific, measurable, and time-based. (The SMART goal acronym is: S=Specific, M=Measurable, A=Achievable, R=Relevant, T=Time-based.)

I asked, “Why are we afraid to tell others our goals?”

“I guess it is because we don’t want to be held accountable or laughed at,” he answered quickly. “Maybe we are afraid we might fail. You know, like fail ourselves.” 

As he answered, I was thinking to myself, “You are so right.”

“Can you give me an example of a goal you might have for 2021?” I asked.

He fidgeted a bit in his seat and then said, “I would like to get new business for my law firm.”

“How much business?” I asked.

“Like $50k,” he answered modestly, wondering if that was too much or not enough by my judgment.

He is not a natural business development person. But he knows he wants to become a partner in his law firm. To become a partner, he must prove he can bring in new business and keep the law firm going and growing. 

“Why not $100k?” I asked.

“I know I can do $50k, but $100k sounds out of reach,” he answered.

I said, “I read over the years how important it is to write down goals. There seems to be something supernatural to handwriting them. And I’m not talking about even revisiting them. Just writing them down. If I remember, people who write them down are more likely to achieve their goals.”

Here I am talking to this man like I have it all figured. Like I am completely settled on this topic. But I am not. I am just like everyone else. Insecure, unsure, and wishing to remain unaccountable.

So I kept asking the questions to keep the focus on him. I was hoping he would forget that he asked me about my goals. That is because when he asked, “What are your goals?” one goal in particular jumped to mind. And I did not want to share it. 

The reason was, I knew I need to achieve this goal, but I didn’t want to commit to it. I was thinking thoughts like:

I’ve never done this before.

Who am I to do this?

What will people think?

Will the result simply be a disappointment?

I don’t want to expose myself like that.

It will take too much time.

And the excuses kept on coming...and coming.

Mind you. I have had people tell me as recently as last week to commit to this goal. In fact, it is getting to be bizarre. I can be in a conversation with someone on something unrelated and they will say, “You know what? You need to write a book.”

“Not again,” I think to myself. Then I say something like, “Yes. I know. Someday.” Then I change the subject.

And you know what? 

• Each of us has that one desire that should become a goal. 

• The one you just don’t want to say out loud. 

• The one you don’t want to write down. 

• The one that is specific, easily measured, achievable, relevant, and time-based. 

• Yes. You know the one.

• Is this the year you’ll write it down, stop thinking about it, and commit?

Easy advice to give. For me, I’m still not sure. I have a couple of days before the end of this year to forget about it. Bury it for another year. 

Am I ready to write it down? If I do, I am committed.