What Makes Thanksgiving Memorable

Note: Next Paparelli Zoom Chat will be Wednesday December 2. Topic: The Education System is Now a Business Planning Constraint with special guest Karim Abouelnaga, Founder, and CEO of Practice Makes Perfect

It was a beautiful summer day. We were standing across the street from my childhood home. My son saw an ugly two-story house. I saw a motion picture.

My mother working in a tiny garden.

Five-year-old Charlie making his right turn into the driveway, realizing he can now ride a two-wheeler.

The Christmas lights around the front door. I even felt the chill I had hanging those lights as a teenager.

Phillip coming to the back door of the house to ask me to come play with him.

My father’s gold Oldsmobile sitting in the driveway.

The memories just kept flooding in. And all we were doing was standing across the street from the house.

And to my surprise, a woman appeared. “Are you Mary DeMateo?” I asked.

“Yes, I am. Who are you?” 

“I am Charlie Paparelli. I used to live in that house across the street from you,” I answered. “You still live here? How old are you?”

“I’m 93,” she answered.

I introduced her to my son and explained what we were doing. I told her, “I wanted to show my son where I grew up. I was just describing to him the layout of the bottom floor where we lived.”

“Come with me. I’ll show you my house. It has the exact same floor layout as your house.” 

We followed Mary as she led us up her driveway and into the side entrance to her house. She led us into the bottom floor of her two-family house. We went room by room. It took about five minutes. The whole three bedroom, one bath house couldn’t have been more than 1,000 square feet. 

My son took one look at the kitchen and the table that was wedged in it and said, “How did you all fit at this table?”

I have a black and white photo of ten people sitting at that table in that kitchen. Ten people stuffed into a kitchen that could not have been more than 150 square feet, including the sink, stove, oven, refrigerator, and tiny counter.

Those were the Thanksgivings that lasted six hours.

Six hours of food with a one hour break for a nap and the NFL. There was salad, followed by a spaghetti dinner, followed by soup, followed by turkey and all the fixings, followed by desserts, followed by fruit and cheeses. As a little kid, I remember the meal went on forever.

And every Thanksgiving was the same...a forever eating experience. 

What makes the memories so rich is the sameness of the annual event. The arguments on who made the best Italian sauce. My father bragging, “Mary makes the best bird!” My Aunt Betty instructing everyone on just how long to cook spaghetti so it was al dente. Everyone loved my mom’s apple pie. And finally, how artfully and carefully my uncle Al cut a piece of fruit he was about to eat.

Every Thanksgiving. Every year.

It was wonderful. I can still smell all the different dishes cooking. The house was filled with the unique scents of the Slovak and Italian spices.

And now it is Kathy and me and our family.

“I have so much cooking to do for this Thanksgiving,” Kathy said.

“I don’t understand. I thought we were going to Allen and Lisa’s house. I figured we just needed to show up.”

“No. No. No,” Kathy said. “I need to make my broccoli casserole. The pies I usually bake. I even have to make the dressing everyone loves so much.” 

So here we go. 

After forty-four years of Thanksgivings, four adult children, two sons-in-law, one daughter-in-law, four grandchildren, my niece who lives in town, and four dogs, everyone has their special dish just like Kathy does. Including Lisa’s mac and cheese and Julia’s pies and casseroles. And, of course, Allen, my son-in-law, will smoke a turkey since Thanksgiving is at his house, and that is what he does. He cooks the bird.

I am so grateful for the sameness of tradition.

What a blessing and joy to be surrounded by family!

Thanks be to God!